The Child and Family Clinic: Articles
I have noticed that the children I work with seem to be suffering increasingly from symptoms of stress. These can show as anxiety, and even at a young age nowadays, worries about achieving in school exams and tests, clinginess, fretfulness about school, friendships and poor sleep patterns. Sometimes this ‘stressfulness’ can show itself as worries about body image, weight and shape. Our children seem to be under more pressure to achieve in so many ways than ever before, and teenagers are living in a much more ‘public’ way with the social networking sites now so widely used.
Many children and teenagers are bombarded with visual and audio stimulation in the form of TV, computer and interactive games which they both enjoy and demand, but these can increase their stress hormone response and leave them feeling wound up and unable to relax, chill or wind down.
Children of all ages are also very receptive to picking up stresses from the adults around them so this can also be an issue as many parents also have their own ‘adult’ stressors, including relationships , work and finance. Children often can’t name their parents worries but they have an awareness of tensions, worry and sadness.
Mindfulness Meditation is a way of living more fully ’in the moment’ and it can help both adults and children to feel more able to relax. It also helps adults and children become more aware of their own symptoms of rising stress. This awareness of stress symptoms and relaxation is a skill worth teaching our children so that they can cope better with the inevitable challenges of living.
So, how can we teach our children and teenagers to relax?
We can begin by having some quiet time in the house, no screens or audio noise. Perhaps reading with them or playing a board game. Reading to your children is both restful and bonding.
Modelling how to relax as parents to your children can help too, by sometimes just sitting and being, and when involved with tasks such as cooking or gardening, giving them your full focussed attention, rather than rushing from task to task and often doing more than one thing at once!
Babies and small children enjoy massage.
There are many good audio relaxation CDs aimed specifically for children that can be downloaded for helping children to relax and unwind, especially if they have trouble getting off to sleep.
Older children and teenagers may enjoy yoga or t’ai chi and similar arts as they are non competitive and encourage focussed attention , which in turn helps with the important skill of recognising rising stress.
Do contact me if you would like to find out more about any of these issues.
My Background
I have four children and four step-children so I know that family life can be challenging.
I believe that good relationships are very important for the emotional wellbeing of all family members, and for the healthy development of children and teens.
When families work together, this can have a positive impact on everyone.
I also work with parents towards finding ways of co-parenting through separation and divorce so that children do not have to suffer from their parents’ differences.
To get in touch any time, call 07780 653588, email me, or click here to view full contact details.